I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
how drunk are you?
Several
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
