adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you didnt know i had herpes?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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