the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
People in love make me want to vomit
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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