i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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