So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize