he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
