The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
