I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were trust falling into bushes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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