Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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