Well douche your snatch and let's go!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
