he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need to calm my uterus...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
