Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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