i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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