Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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