Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
They are going to name an STD after you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
