is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
