i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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