South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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