Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
