JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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