the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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