for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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