why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
