just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize