cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
