I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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