How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize