Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
