I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
