You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
