Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
