Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
