ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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