who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
