I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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