Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
