new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
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