Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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