in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was born a porn star she said
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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