My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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