Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
