oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
