I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
