Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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