im so drunk with asians
where?
always
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
