bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
