All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
