Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
