So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
