you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
