am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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