im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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