And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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