i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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