i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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