She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
