I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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