Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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