just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
