told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
