Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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