I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
