weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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