I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We are all done wearing pants today
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
