good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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