I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
