I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
