i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
