dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
