but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
