Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
